I grew up watching my Dad hunt and fish. He was a sportsman who loved getting outside. I learned what he taught me and I am forever grateful for that mentoring and connection. Although even when I was young I felt a lack of connection and reciprocity in my Dad’s lessons. From my young perspective, there was a callousness from my Dad toward the animals he was pursuing. I remember cringing while watching my Dad kill “varmints” because they simply existed and occasionally dug into his garden and sadly, I carry shame and guilt over how I treated the lives and deaths of animals during my teenage years.
Perhaps it was my young age, and perhaps I just needed more hand holding through witnessing the process of hunting and death, but thinking about my childhood experiences now, I wish I could go back and mentor my Father and my young self in ways to bring more heart connection and reciprocity to the hunt.
I don’t blame him, he was doing the best he could, but since then I have always been searching for examples of heart connected hunting. I want to hunt less from my ego, and more from a place of my soul.
What does that mean to hunt from a place of soul rather than ego? For me, I feel a need to “zoom out” from my own desires of “wanting to shoot a big buck” or “looking like a successful hunter”, and rather come to hunting as a journey connection. I want hunting to feel like a deep prayer of gratitude for the forest, my prey, and how my hunting benefits all of the forest and myself. I want my hunting to help me remember and help me root myself in the cycles of life. I want my pursuit of animals to open my heart and create deep and long-lasting cycles of reciprocity.
For many of us, especially strangers to death and earth-based cultures, this may sound odd; to love and pray for the very animal I seek to kill. However, this seemingly paradoxical thinking was the standard for earth-based cultures for Millenia. Many cultures loved and worshiped the very animal they hunted the most. I imagine how much love and respect lions have for the wildebeest, their prey they hunt and pursue for and without their existence they would surely die. And paradoxically, the lions’ pursuit of the wildebeest help them become more robust and healthier overall.
I don’t have this “sacred hunt” all figured out. Every year I try to find ways to invoke feeling and prayers and heart connections to the hunt. And it’s hard! When I try to come up with my own ceremony to invoke connection I often feel like an orphan with a goal that is far beyond the scope of one individual. But that is where I am at. And that is what I will move toward.
With bow season fast approaching in NC, I wasn’t feeling connected at all. So I created a little ceremony to try and shift from an ego place to a eco centric place. I don’t share this to brag or to tell you this is how to prepare to hunt, but rather I share this to inspire you all to make your own pre-hunting rituals.
This year is the first year I will be hunting with my own stone points. I finally feel confident enough that they are sharp enough that they will quickly take the life of a deer if placed correctly. With my dedication to the extremely complex and difficult craft of flint knapping (making stone points) I cherish and love my points and cling to them like a hoarder. Each point has its own story and each point represents my journey as a human trying to remember. I felt this clinging and noticed it’s intensity. So as a way of making my hunt less about my ego, I decided to give my best arrow to the forest before the hunt even started. I decided to launch my finest, handmade arrow (which has about 10 hrs or work into it) into the woods. As one of my Anishnabee teachers says, “Give before you receive”.
My soul knew it was right but my ego hated it!! I literally felt like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. I came up with all of the excuses as to why I should keep my best point and not give it away. “I must keep my precious!” But luckily I previously spoke my intention to my good buddy and he held me to it.
I walked into the forest. The forest I intend to hunt this year. I carried with my my sacred objects, and objects that hold a connection to deer. I sat on a rock, closed my eyes and began to pray and share my intention of hunting. I played my drum and immediately I felt the ancestors around me. The ancestors that have visited me before especially during my past hunts. The same ancestors who smile and dance and are pleased when I create with my hands. I felt them. I cried. My heart opened and I felt connected to my greater mission of coming back home and remembering what it means to be human.
I grabbed my bow and my finest arrow. I looked and admired my work one last time: Feathers for the arrow’s fletching from the turkey I had hunted. Pitch glue I had collected and made from the pine tree of Georgia. Deer sinew from the deer I hunted last fall. And the dark grey stone point, I made while learning from my flint knapping teacher. I remembered all of my teachers (both human and non) that helped me create such a point and I felt how I was just a small part to a much bigger whole . And with love and excitement I cast that arrow as high as I could with my osage bow and I truly reveled in its beautiful flight.
And now season is here. And my heart is excited to sit in the trees and pray for an deer to give it’s life to me. And if I sit all season long without getting a shot or without even seeing a deer. I will at least feel satisfied with my intention and connection to my greater ecosystem.
Are you interested in learning how to remember this and many other skills with me? Hunting and intention and re-creating connection are fundamental parts of my 10-month immersion program, Deep Remembering. Check it out here.
How do you prepare for the hunt? How do you create ceremony and reciprocity with those you pursue?